Today, I went to a Boston Public Library near my school for a meeting…there I picked up a book that particularly grabbed my attention. It was titled “You, Maybe” by Rachel Vail. I’ve heard of the author before, and I’ve wanted to read the book for quite some time. So, I checked it out on my way out of the library and started to read it in the car. At first, it seemed as though the book had everything that I loved to read about. A small insignificant High School Sophomore with that small group of friends who was soon to be swept off her feet by the perfect All-American Senior. The book was getting really good, and after chapters of heated make-out sessions and jealous friends…I could not put it down.
Let me tell you about this book first before I explain. You see, this book had a sophomore girl-around the age of 15, who wasn’t the prettiest, but she was okay with that. She liked being different, she liked being an “outsider”; she didn’t give a damn about what anyone thought. She loathed the boys who thought that they could get any girl that they wanted…she hated the “popular” kids who thought that they were the greatest things since the invention of the cell-phone. She was the protagonist I knew right away that I could relate too. You see, when I read books…I like to imagine myself as the protagonist…like I star in my own mini movie right inside of my head. So I could easily see myself as this character. Then, she met him… “The Golden Boy” as the author calls him. Perfect, Gorgeous, Harvard Acceptee, Prince, Athletic…let’s just say this guy was described to be Brad Pitt, Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Bill Gates, Rajon Rondo, and Munro Chambers all wrapped into one. He liked my protagonist character…but she wouldn’t give him the time of day (I liked that a lot you know…in a lot of books show the girls chasing after the guys…not the other way around). She offered to make out and “fool around” with him…nothing serious, but he pushed her. He made her seem like she rocked his world. He made her seem like a goddess (bad wording). He practically begged for her, he coveted her…and you know what? He took her. She gave in to him. Score one for Women’s independence eh? And ever so slowly, you started to see this girl lose herself to this boy…she slowly molded into the crowd, became a popular, lost her sense of individuality, she lost her friends, she lost her pride, slowly everything in her life was surrounding the Golden Boy. But no matter how many times her friends told her, or warned her, she wouldn’t listen. She was too caught up in him to even realize. Damn right? It gets worse. He loses interest, in her. The girl he wanted so badly was becoming…well nothing. He wanted his ex back, his feelings changed. Personally, I don’t think he had any at all…I think he just wanted the chase. She was playing so hard to get before, and now that he got her…well, in the words of Jay-Z “On to the Next one”. Now here’s where I just about lost my senses reading this. She BROKE DOWN. I mean dude, this strong protagonist went HARD. I no longer imagined myself as the main character and I settled for imagining that I was the best friend trying to comfort her. It was so incredibly bad you have NO IDEA. Her mom got in a car accident, and this chick had the audacity to say that she wasn’t going to go to the hospital unless Golden Boy went with her. I’m like….WTF are you freaking Crazy? Your mom’s in the hospital and all you care about is a DUDE?! I wanted to slam the Bible down her throat or something…I was pissed at this chick. I mean, really. She was GONE. Now, this book you could or couldn’t say it had a happy ending. Golden Boy went back to his ex and she went back to her friends…It didn’t have a resolute ending or anything. I wanted to stop reading it…It was so bad. But you know what? As much as I would hate to admit it…I see more of myself in the protagonist more than I see myself in any other character that I’ve read about. I know what you’re thinking- “Damn Girl…you got issues”. But hear me out, and maybe you’d understand.
I’m not going into any dirty details or anything. But Let me give you a quick synopsis. (It may seem long but trying to fit 11 years of my life into a paragraph is a pretty hard thing to do). Ever since I was five years old, I had a crush…well more of a crush…it was more of an, intense like on this kid three years older than me, (Ironically, Golden boy was three years older than the protagonist…Coincidence? I’d like to think so…but now, I’m not so sure) as years went on…this kid would not give me the time of day. And slowly but surely…I felt as though I was losing myself to him…I was changing how I spoke, how I dressed, my attitude, what I listened to, even up to what soda I drank all to appease him. Yet, still, he wouldn’t give me the time of day. Obviously I’m leaving A LOT of events out. But eventually, I ended up like I am now: at a standstill…Just like the protagonist. I used to be strong…made my own decisions and others…but as I got older, and as he got older, I started to change. Until eventually, I cracked. So this book, well…it set some things into perspective for me. It showed me pretty much a metaphorical character of myself…with Golden Boy as well…him. It showed me practically how STUPID I WAS over these past years. Texting him, messaging him, waiting for his call…changing myself for him. Man, if you thought I was pissed at the protagonist of the book…how do you think I felt when I realized that she was a lot like me? I was heated.
But you know? It taught me…and maybe my rant will teach you. Don’t you ever, ever change yourself for a boy…no matter who they are. Yeah, my parents taught me that growing up…yeah I always knew that I shouldn’t…But you don’t really know you’re falling until your butt hits the ground. For me, it took a book with a character that mirrored my actions to truly realize how much of a dumbass I have been. Hopefully, it doesn’t take that for you.
Okay, I’m done with my rant now.
Peace, Love, and Nappy Hair. (Haha didn’t see that one coming did ya? :P)
OH! And by the way, the book is mad good. It will have you screaming at black and white letters on a page…Haha trust me. So go to your nearest library and check it out. It’s called “You, Maybe” by Rachel Vail…even though I already like told you the whole point in the book…Believe it or not, the story is WAYYYY more complicated than what I just wrote. So, make sure you take it out to see what it’s all about. I will write some more later. Talk to you later!!
